Today’s rant
1. I can’t understand why the cell phone industry isn’t the most profitable industry since the beginning of time. Almost every woman I see driving has one stapled to their ear.
2. I love the new M3 but know that I would hate every person driving one, starting with the 25-year old fake blondes.
3. I just don’t get the H2. Every person driving one looks like an idiot.
I lost it at the local supermarket on Sunday. Zack Shitbird was bagging my groceries when Brittany the 21-year old fake blonde future M3 driver manning the checkout lane next to mine asks Zack to run and get a carton of smokes for the person in that lane. Zack wanting to get in her pants dutifully complies and runs off to get the Newport Ultra Low Menthol 100s hard pack. So I start bagging my own groceries, which I usually don’t mind. But when Zack returns, he starts pretending to bag the stuff in her lane (the guy buying the smokes had about 5 things – smokes, Doritos, Twinkies, 6-pack of Coke, and something healthy – beef jerky) instead of returning to my lane because my cashier, Wendy, is not nearly as cute and is 20 years older than Brittany. So now he is just standing there shooting the shit with Brittany and Tyler Shitbird, the other bagger doing nothing.
Could not restrain myself any longer. I let Mary Jane, the supervising cashier, have it. It just irritates the hell out of me that men are always expected to bag their own groceries. Now I could understand if there were no baggers, but there were two perfectly healthy troglodytes standing next to me that should have been bagging my groceries instead of trying to get into Brittany’s pants. Mary Jane apologized and said that this is a chronic problem for them, the boys don’t want to help men or the older cashiers.
I’m officially an old man. I know that I’ll pay for this with smashed bread and broken eggs.